The Librarian
Disclaimer: This is a true story. Only names, dates, and every single word has been changed to conceal the truth of what really happened. (Although most of it really did happen)
We marched into the library like soldiers going into battle at Pine Lane Intermediate Elementary school. Our feet pumped the ground as if we were trying to hammer the juice out of the carpet. The class was scared all day before they had to go to the library, and demoralized all day after. It was only until the later part of the evening when their parents cooled them down with a cup of hot chocolate, and a mint flavored marshmallow that they would forget the mental pain and agony they received from the days trip to the library.
It all started when Hillary Nut got scolded from her librarian as a child for taking more than one book without permission. She had always wanted to become the kind librarian who helped kids read before that. Hillary still wanted to become a librarian, but that five minutes of scolding changed her perspective on teaching. When she got hired at Pine Lane, she stressed the importance of order in her library, and impressed the principle with her strict policy. What she did not mention in her interview was that she got fired from her previous librarian job because of the increasing number of students that needed counseling after they walked out of that library. She had been teaching at the Intermediate school for only three months, and she had taken the children out of six kids. Brenna, Carl, Steven, Riley, Eric, and Michael.
The library was a battle field filled with the Nutster’s booming voice igniting with any sign of a lack of obedience. The library was set up to have one long hall way that was lined with rows upon rows of endless bookshelves. Mrs. Nut’s desk was at the very to of the hall way so she could see anything and everything that took place. The battle field was set up to her advantage, and she recognized that. She saw that right when she walked through the doors on interview day, because she requested that the desk be moved. I remember when the desk used to be on the far left room of the library to allow for privacy. In those days we could do whatever we felt that was necessary to the library. I remember when, the whole day my general and I colored on the walls without stop until we heard the bell.
“Sir, she has already exiled three kids to the corners!” shouted Paul from his command post stationed under the Nutster’s desk. Just then, the Nutster decided that she was going to sort some detention slips at her desk. Paul was trapped there for the rest of the period. This is bad because first of all, Mrs. Nut had what seemed like an infinite amount of these slips. And second of all, she liked to take her time to ensure every kid gets his or her (un)fair punishment. Paul let out a muffled yelp. There was no way out except for the way he came in which was now blocked by that monster that we call a librarian. I pulled one of my captains into my command station. “Nick, we have a situation.”
The plan was simple, but the margin for error was less than the width of a hair. The situation called for a distraction, and we needed a good one. We decided to make one kinder-gardeners take the make the infraction. We couldn’t afford to loose anybody. Besides, they were new to this school and didn’t know the brutality of Mrs. Nut yet. They should get a good introductory to the whole library thing anyways. So all we had to do was get one of them to do something stupid, which was in reality harder than it looks. They always need a reason for why they are doing something. So after tedious persuasion, we convinced a small boy to take a handful of mints out of the complimentary mint bowl on her desk (which was located directly in her line of sight) and run away.
He walked with his head down straight towards her, which was something you never did because it told her that your up to no good, or you’ve done something no good. The Nutster let out a warning call. “What are you up to my child?” He kept on walking which was ill advised. This told her that he was going to do something stupid. He kept on looking at the floor, now with a slight smile. The Nutster saw this and knew that he was going to do something. She let out a final warning call, “I am advising you to discontinue your foolishness, if of course you don’t want me to call your parents.” That was the line that got him. The boy stopped, this time looking straight into her eyes. First mistake. She asked him who he worked for. His facial expression showed that he was weakening. Second mistake. This time she took full advantage of him by playing the nice act. “Oh, don’t worry sweety. I only want the truth.” Her voice was that of a seductive serpent, alluring but fatal. That was it, he made his last mistake by giving in to her fake charm with the simple word, “Well…”
“We really weren’t trying to cause any trouble!” I pleaded. Paul and I were in the principle’s office looking up at Scrudges wife, oh yea Mrs. Scrudge (not really but that’s what we called her). She asked us why and how we could do such a thing as set up a small child to take the blame for our illegal rescue mission. We told her that Paul had dropped his pencil underneath the desk and went to get it. Then she came back and said that we were pitiful at lying. Paul came out with the whole truth right then. That idiot.
“How much longer are we going to have to pick up all of this stupid trash!”
