Pathetic Excuses for Being Late to Class
The French Foreign Legion drafted me in the middle of lunch.
I stepped on a freak land mine that was planted in Jason’s lunch box
I found the cure for cancer and I had to take a plane to that cancer place in that one country
My name was called for the president of America for a day contest, and I got to meet George Bush, and I even have a special thing that excuses me from school for a day, so your lucky I even showed up to class.
Didn’t you get my parent’s note about how I could be late to class whenever I felt was necessary because of my superior intellect? I left it on your desk.
The Salvation Army was going to Africa to help save little children, so I felt that it was my responsibility to attend this trip. I really did try to be back for class, but my presence was needed somewhere else.
Why am I late? Why is your watch set five minutes formards?
No habla english.
I heard from an old wise man that school served no purpose, and it was only a way for the government to take over the minds of the children of America. Where did I find him you ask? I saw him eating out of a dumpster in the back of Papa Johns.
Where did your sense of forgiveness go? I forgave you when you missed our book discussion because of that whole baby thing.
